'I had a couple fight over a Settlers of Catan scorecard': 20+ Lawyers who fought over the pettiest items imaginable in divorce court

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 30, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

These legal fights have gotten unbelievably petty. It turns out that you can hire a lawyer to fight for you to get back almost any belonging from your ex, including tiny things like shower curtains or door knobs. Who knew?!

Going through a divorce is never ideal, and having to split up your belongings after years of sharing everything can be a lengthy process. The lawyers who replied to u/ChronicWatcher1456's question have some stories to tell… A surprising amount of them have found themselves battling over tiny objects valued at under $100, all while getting paid their legal fees. For a lot of the couples going through divorce court, their relationship is already fragmented, and trying to steal your exes dishware or favorite blanket might be enough to get back at that ex in the pettiest wway possible. Still, these couples do have to pay their lawyers for the time, so they're spending hundreds to try to keep an item that's only got sentimental value. It's surprising how often lawyers will offer to buy the couple that small item if they just drop the suit against each other. But when the goal is to out-petty your ex, it's no wonder these couples push on with their lawsuits. 

Next up, these people revealed the biggest mistakes they've ever made while at the workplace, like the bartender who knocked down an entire top shelf of expensive bottles, costing the bar thousands of dollars. 

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  • 01
    чето Save Me bees HIVE BOXX HIVE BOXX HIVE BOXX 110 GOOD 0000
    via HiveBoxx on Unsplash
  • 02
    Lawyers, what's the pettiest thing you've seen someone fight over in a divorce?
    via u/ChronicWatcher1456
  • 03
    mkkm0593 I was a divorce lawyer until last year. The pettiest request I ever got was a client asked me to get her half the shampoo bottles she left behind when she was kicked out of the house. "Like, full shampoo bottles under the sink?" I asked.
    via u/mkkm0593
  • 04
    "No," she replied. "The shampoo in the shower. There's two or three bottles in there with about half left each. I want half of each remaining half." I ended up telling her she paid me $50.00 just to send me that email, and I'd waive it if she just went to CVS and got some new gd shampoo herself.
    via u/mkkm0593
  • 05
    Benfranklinballs I am a lawyer. I had a couple fight over a Settlers of Catan scorecard. The card that they kept track of all of the wins and loses with. Hours and hours of fighting over this stupid little card. I even had to send a "spoliation" letter (which warns the other party of consequences of
    via u/Benfranklinballs
  • 06
    destruction of possessions. or evidence). In the end, we resolved that my client would received the family copy of the game, and a framed copy of the scorecard with his ex-wife's signature on it. She got a new copy of the game, but the original card.
    via u/Benfranklinballs
  • 07
    My client was about 35 when they divorced. He died unexpectedly three years later. I shudder to think about distribution of that estate with the scorecard out there. Thousands of dollars over literally nothing.
    via u/Benfranklinballs
  • 08
    Its_Curse Not a lawyer, but a court paper pusher. The ex husband dragged the ex wife into court because they'd agreed to split costs for school supplies and extra curricular activities during the divorce. The older daughter was on the swim team.
    via u/Its_Curse
  • 09
    The husband was there to argue he shouldn't have to pay half of the cost of the $3 swim goggles because he didn't feel the goggles. were "necessary".
    via u/Its_Curse
  • 10
    The judge says "You don't think goggles are necessary? For swim team?" Then he sighed heavily, Then turned to the wife and said "You've moved to California, correct? And you'll be transferring this case there? Then they can sort it out. Good luck." The wife flew cross country for that 15 minutes.
    via u/Its_Curse
  • 11
    Life_Park A $25 service on a washing machine repair. The wife owned her own home prior to marriage. All the husband brought into the house were his office supplies. He paid half the bills, but wife continued to pay the mortgage, insurance, and home warranty herself. At some point a washing machine broke and he paid the service fee for the
    via u/Life_Park
  • 12
    repairs. Years later, when divorcing, this man was bound a determined to get that $25 back. He claimed in the pleading he was forced to pay and he suffered financial abuse because he had to pay for something that was not his. Also, he did not want to meet to figure things out. He wanted a judge to order wife to pay. At the hearing, the wife pulled out an email from him from years ago when the machine
    via u/Life_Park
  • 13
    e was repaired saying she did not owe him for the washer because, "I use it too." This email was disclosed before the hearing, but the man refused to meet with us. Judge was p*ssed. Wife was over it. Hubby was ordered to pay wife's costs including my fee.
    via u/Life_Park
  • 14
    NotAnUnhappy R... My girlfriend's dad is a lawyer, it was a lamp. Not a special lamp. Not an expensive lamp. Not one with any sentimental value to either party. But boy did it turn out to be the focal point of a flinging contest.
    via u/NotAnUnhappyRock
  • 15
    Basically what happened was that one person wanted it and the other person said absolutely not. By the time litigation was over they were in $6,000 deep, over the lamp.
    via u/NotAnUnhappyRock
  • 16
    OwnAd8929 Doorknobs. I actually offered to buy them both new doorknobs if they would just settle. They wouldn't.
    via u/OwnAd8929
  • 17
    Double_Analyst3... Ugh. Watching it right now between my cousin and her stbx. He doesn't really care if he gets any visits with their 11 month old son, but he straight wants that Roomba!!!!!
    via u/Double_Analyst3234
  • 18
    Peanutsandchee... While waiting outside the courtroom for my divorce hearing there was a young couple ignoring the f out of each other. The girl sat by me and told me that he was her ex. He hadn't bothered to see or pay anything towards their two kids but was demanding and I mean legally demanding 2 pairs of designer socks his mother bought him years before.
    via u/Peanutsandcheese2021
  • 19
    She told me that after she threw him out the kids made sock puppets out of the socks. They were full of holes and sticky glue glitter and such. She opened her bag to show me them. They were going off into a mediation room and my case got called but I I'd have given anything to see his face when she pulled out the designer sock puppets and presented them to him
    via u/Peanutsandcheese2021
  • 20
    Modifiedpoutine Not a divorce but, a breakup from a loong term relationship. A vacuum. There were two. One expensive, one cheap. He didn't care which she kept but was adamant he was leaving with one per their 50/50 agreement. Her choice. For weeks she insisted on keeping both.
    via u/Modifiedpoutine
  • 21
    Eventually relenting to keep the cheaper as it was a style she liked. Six months later (after telling everybody in the friend group how he forced her to take the bad vacuum) the cheaper one broke. And she went beating down his door demanding money to replace it.
    via u/Modifiedpoutine
  • 22
    He offered to let her take the expensive one and she could pay him for a new cheap one. That's not what she wanted. She was just there to pick a fight after it was long over. So she relented and walked away with nothing.
    via u/Modifiedpoutine
  • 23
    MoreConfused58 Friend was in negotiations with ex. He said she didn't list all the extra shower curtains. He was entitled to half of them and argued the point. His lawyer had to remind him what he was paying her an hour. His lawyer offered to buy him a shower curtain.
    via u/MoreConfused58
  • 24
    SweetCosmicPope In my parents divorce my dad got everything, full custody, all of their stuff, everything. My dad also sued for my mom to no longer be able to keep his name, so she was legally forced to go back to her maiden name.
    via u/SweetCosmicPope
  • 25
    RoxoRoxo so this wasnt necessarily a formal thing but when my parents divorced my father had to go back to court and get approval to get his clothes from the house, he did it was a police it wasnt specifically .... mentioned in the divorce so my mom said you i am keeping everything not specifically mentioned.
    via u/RoxoRoxo
  • 26
    Agitated_Ball304 A client and his wife came in regarding a real estate transaction. At the end of the consultation, the client casually stated that he would like to divorce his wife. I was stunned, the wife started crying, the client started rubbing his wife's shoulder and told her that everything would be okay. That was an awkward few minutes.
    via u/Agitated_Ball304
  • 27
    Burladden Not even a divorce and not a lawyer but I have an ex insist that we split the toothpicks in the toothpicks holder evenly. Funny thing is I had them and the holder from before the relationship. (I don't get to tell this story enough so I had to add it. here.)
    via u/Burladden
  • 28
    lolabythebay Not a lawyer, but I know of a divorce from the 1970s that had to spell out the distribution of a single steel fish fork.
    via u/lolabythebay
  • 29
    CherryManhattan Not a lawyer but my sister got divorced. They both moved to their own apartments but kept fighting over the ride on lawn mower from the house. Neither wanted the other to have it or be sold and neither had a use for it. My sister initially got someone on fb marketplace to buy it for $1,700 but her ex said that
    via u/CherryManhattan
  • 30
    was too low and killed the sale. After a motion to the court that cost each side 3k, the judge made my sister sell it months later and got $900 for it. lol
    via u/CherryManhattan
  • 31
    Empress-Rae I'm an attorney but this was before law school when I was just an annoying intern in undergrad: dirty laundry. This is atleast 10y ago so my memory isn't the best:: They agreed to split their vacation house in VA Beach till the kids were older. Wife came to clean up the place and get it set for the sale that spring as agreed. She and
    via u/Empress-Rae
  • 32
    her sister found out it was where he was staying with the AP from the dirty laundry in the machine. Things, logically, got angry but the house was sold without including the appliances and the money. was set to be split after on both sides. They fought over the remaining appliances in the home. Wife argued to keep
    via u/Empress-Rae
  • 33
    the washing machine and dryer, husband got a fridge and the oven(?) if I'm remembering that right. She didn't need the machines, she stayed in her own condo in Richmond by then. Right around the time the home closed, she shipped the washing machine and dryer to her ex-ILs - with their dirty drawers still in them. I think she let them steep in a storage unit while they were arguing.
    via u/Empress-Rae
  • 34
    Can't imagine how rank it must've been by the time it landed on his parent's doorstep.
    via u/Empress-Rae
  • 35
    The_Art_of_Dying A $16 service charge. I wouldn't do family law again for all the money in the world.
    via u/The_Art_of_Dying
  • 36
    dignc Who gets the goldfish.
    via u/dignc
  • 37
    brushflossbrush From a list 60 items long: • "tech wiring" (ie, assorted computer cables) mannequin (that the parties found on the street one night when they were drunk) • a bath mat • a towel • a mug
    via u/brushflossbrush
  • 38
    SteffRM Not a lawyer, but my parents were petty about a cat. In their divorce decree, right after the custody guidelines for me, their human child, was the custody & visitation guidelines for their cat. Badically whichever parent had me at the time, also had the cat. So he was my little ping pong partner throughout visitation. Lmao!
    via u/SteffRM
  • 39
    TheChaddington... I'm not a lawyer but I remember a couple fought over their beanie baby collection...
    via u/TheChaddingtonBear
  • 40
    truthofthematteris My parents argued with their solicitors over who got to keep the frequent flyer points.
    via u/truthofthematteris
  • 41
    primeirofilho Not a divorce, but an estate case. The last fought settlement thing was a console TV from the 80s. This was in 2007. A colleague of mine was handling it, and he couldn't stop laughing over the stupidity of it.
    via u/primeirofilho
  • 42
    Olfahrtur A broken television.
    via u/Olfahrtur
  • 43
    HighElfEsteem Not a lawyer but a friend's sister got married at 18, divorced at 19 and spent $20K on lawyer fees because her ex wanted to keep the cat to spite her.
    via u/HighElfEsteem
  • 44
    Zuri2016 This is a friend of a friend story, but apparently, this particular divorce lawyer quit when one of her clients fought over Tupperware. Old, stained Tupperware. They were in agreement over everything else, but locked horns on the "family bowl."
    via u/Zuri2016
  • 45
    Cherry Bombo_0 I'm one half of an acrimonious divorce, not a lawyer. My ex asked the judge to order me to supply him with receipts for all the purchases from his child support. The kids were 3 and 6! The judge got a chuckle and said no. Ex's lawyer eventually quit.
    via u/Cherry BombO_O
  • 46
    discostud1515 I heard of a case where they owned a parrot. They ended up splitting custody of the parrot and the terms were that neither could teach the parrot to swear at or insult the other party.
    via u/discostud1515
  • 47
    MyDictainabox 8 foot tall inflatable snowman. He was a physician, she an MBA of some sort. They could probably own the factory that made it. It held up for weeks.
    via u/MyDictainabox
  • 48
    Identity_Criteria I clerked for a family law judge. Father wanted the judge to order Mother to cook for the children every night, from menu of dishes he drafted, which he attached as an exhibit to the motion.
    via u/Identity_Criteria
  • 49
    Ok-Policy-8284 Not a lawyer, but my grandparents divorce said that they couldn't live in the same state. When Grandma moved to new York, new York was off limits for Grandpa.
    via u/Ok-Policy-8284

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